Regrets and Reason
by Buffychick
Summary: Literati.  Set during "Nag Hammadi is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels."  Jess has stunned Rory with his declaration of love, but things go differently this time around.
1. Chapter 1

**Regrets and Reason**

**Author:** Buffychick

**Disclaimer:** This is AU, so don't complain that it veers from canon. It's supposed to.

**Summary:** Set during "Nag Hammadi is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels." Jess has stunned Rory with his declaration of love, but things go differently this time around.

**Feedback:** Yes please! It will keep me writing if nothing else.

**Rating:** At the moment it's tame, but I make no promises at all that it will remain that way.

When Rory was angry, the color of her eyes darkened from their normal light, crystal blue to a stormy ice gray that reminded him of the color of the ocean during a storm. And that was as poetic as Jess cared to ever be, but having now witnessed storms over the ocean on both sides of the continent he felt he had a good frame of reference and the comparison was accurate.

He found himself staring into the storm at this very moment.

Rory stared at the man before her in shock. "You can't be serious."

Coffee colored eyes looked back at her, impatient. "Will you talk to me now?"

Female temper emerged. "I have nothing to say to you."

"Then just listen," he requested gruffly and plunged ahead, knowing if he didn't he'd never get this out. "I wanted to tell you I'm sorry."

Her arms folded over her chest. "I don't care."

Jess glanced around them, at the silent Stars Hollow night and sighed heavily, "Can I come in?"

Outrage filled her face. "What? No!"

"Rory, please. I need to talk to you," he all but begged, and she wildly though it was the first time he'd ever asked so nicely, or used the word please.

Hesitation played over her pretty features. "I think you said enough before. Or, no, actually, you didn't, but instead of giving me a chance to respond, you left. So…so I'm doing the same," she declared, and shut the door in his face.

She retreated to the couch and Lorelei looked up, sympathy on her face. "James Dean?

"I wish," Rory said grumpily, flopping down on the couch, arms crossed.

"What did he want?" her mother wanted to know.

"I don't know. To talk. I said no."

Her daughter looked miserable. "You look miserable."

"I'm just…frustrated," Rory blew out a breath. "Mad. You don't drop a bomb on someone like that and then drive off without another word."

Lorelei nodded. "You're right. You don't."

"And it's not like it's the first time he's done it!"

"It's not?" Lorelei cried, confused. "He's told you he loves you before?"

"_No_," Rory continued impatiently. "But he's been avoiding me since he got here. Running away, so blatantly rude, every time he runs into me like I did something wrong. _He's_ the one who left town. _He's _the one who didn't talk to me. _He's_ the one who didn't call or write, and it's been a months and months and he acts like I'm the one who should be apologizing and it's a surprise that I don't want to talk to him!"

Lorelei got up and peeked behind the curtain. "He's still out there."

"What?" Rory asked, shocked, eyes wide as she turned to her mother.

"He's either staging a sit-in or his car won't start."

"Unbelievable!" Rory cried, rising to join her mother at the window. It had started to snow and Jess sat on their steps, burrowed under his hoodie and leather jacket, shivering. "I'm going to…_ooooh_…I'm going to just – wait, no. No." She calmed herself, taking a breath. "Fine. It's freezing outside. If he wants to sit out there and turn into an icicle, then fine! I don't care. Let him get hyperthermia."

Lorelei raised an eyebrow in amusement. "You're awful riled up for someone who doesn't care."

"_This_," Rory cried, tucking her chin-length hair behind her ears, "is not riled up. I'm mad that he's being such a jerk. Any sane person would see that."

"Okay," Lorelei said calmly before a small grin snuck over her face.

"What?" Rory demanded, and turned back to face the window, her mother standing behind her.

"Okay…" she began, wrapping her arms around her daughter's waist and tucking her chin over Rory's shoulder, watching the boy sitting outside in the falling snow. "I can't believe I'm about to say this. Maybe this is some kind of stroke I'm having, let's keep that in mind as a definite possibility, but…Jess has _so_ many problems, we know this. And I am not clambering to head up his fan club in this lifetime or the next. But it's kind of cute. He might be a jerk and have no social skills, but that boy is head over heels for you. He's so scared of it, it's almost funny."

Rory's mouth fell open. "What?"

Lorelei gazed out the window, and softly said, "He is not my favorite person. This is an established fact. Our conversation from earlier today didn't help anything. But after what happened tonight…I think I understand him a little better. Jess has a lot of growing up to do. And loving you scares the living crap out of him. He can't deal with it, so he bails."

"Are you _defending_ him?" Rory hissed pulling away from her mother.

Lorelei rolled her eyes. "_No_," she said vehemently, and gestured over to the couch, where they sat, knee to knee. "I'm not. I'm just saying… People do it all the time. Get scared and run away. You did it to Jess, if I recall, kissing him and going to Washington? And I did it to Max."

"That wasn't the same."

"It wasn't?" Lorelei countered. "He proposed, I wigged, we left town. Sounds the same to me."

"Mom, you didn't leave for _months_. You left for a long weekend. I left for, well, months," she admitted, but I was…"

"Scared. Confused. Unsure?" Lorelei prompted.

"I explained that to him and we started going out. He understood. And with Max, we came back."

"Well, yeah," admitted Lorelei, "But we have roots here. Jobs, school. Jess had none of that. Luke was furious with him, he'd flunked out of school, he couldn't take you to the Prom and he knew how much you wanted to go. Jess could bail and not look back, not unless he wanted to."

"He went across the country. Literally as far as he could go and still be in the contiguous United States," Rory pointed out.

Lorelei nodded. "Yup. He did. To his father, who told him he couldn't stay."

Rory's mouth fell open again. "What? How-how do you know that?"

"Luke," Lorelei said simply. "Jess' dad called and told Luke what happened. Gave him a heads up that he told Jess he couldn't stay. Luke says it's the first and only decent thing Jess' dad has ever done, but he figured Jess might head back here eventually."

"But…he came here looking for Jess, he's the one who found Jess in the first place," Rory said, outraged and confused.

"All true," Lorelei nodded. "He came here, made contact, and then took off again. Guess that's where Jess learned it," she said with a rueful smile.

Rory's resolve crumbled. "That's…awful. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know it was ever going to matter, Ror," her mother said honestly.

Rory gazed at her mother suspiciously. "You hate Jess."

"With a lot of my body, heart and mind, yes," Lorelei nodded. "I think he treats people like they're disposable and only thinks about himself."

"But you feel bad for him."

Lorelei shrugged. "I know why I ran when I decided I couldn't marry Max. I was intimate with that completely freaked feeling inside." She threw a glance toward the front door. "I'm not saying I want you to run off with him or date him, or even have coffee with him. No, he doesn't deserve a second or thirtieth chance."

"But," Rory prompted.

"No buts."

Rory gave her mother a look. "Every part of that last sentence had a 'but' behind it."

"Aren't you in the least bit curious to see what he has to say?"

"I'm pretty sure it's just going to hurt me."

"Will you be able to sleep at night not knowing?"

Rory gave her mother a telling look. "Will _you_ be able to sleep at night not knowing?"

Lorelei grinned. "Ah, yes, but that is what Mr. Smirnoff is for. Unfortunately, being underage, that's not an option I'm bound to give you."

Rory contemplated for a moment, then stood up. "I don't think I want to know," she told her mother. "I'm going to bed." She turned and walked to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

Lorelei watched her go with sympathy on her face. Flipping off the TV, she spared a glance at the front door before heading upstairs to her own bedroom.

The sound of the car door slamming woke her from an admittedly restless night of sleep. Her eyes were instantly open, and her first thought was _Jess_.

She crept up in the bed and peeked out the window. His car was still there? A look at the clock told her it was 12:17 in the morning.

Whatever. Fine. He finally got tired of waiting, freezing his butt off outside, and was leaving. Good. About time.

Fifteen minutes later, lying in her bed staring wide-eyed at the ceiling, she cursed. His car had never started. It was still sitting in her driveway, silent as the snow that fell outside.

She flung back the covers on her bed, flipped on her bedside light and angrily shoved her feet into the first pair of shoes she could find. Yanking her door open she stomped down the hall, grabbing her coat off the rack next to the door and flinging open the front door.

The snow got inside her shoes but she didn't care. Marching outside she peered into the car. No one was in the driver's seat. Glancing into the back she saw Jess, lying on the seat huddled under his jacket and a moving blanket.

Rory's mouth formed a terse frown. She pounded on the window furiously, scaring the crap out of the boy inside. "Jesus!" he cried, struggling to sit up.

He opened the door. "What are you doing?" she hissed at him.

"What am _I_ doing? Get back inside, it's freezing out here," he bit out at her.

"Why are you still here? Why are you here at all?"

He stared at her. "I need to talk to you."

"You tried that. It mostly involves you leaving. A lot."

"I…I know. But I need to talk to you."

Rory stared at him for a moment before dropping her arms and looking around her yard helplessly. "What can you possibly have to say that you haven't already said?"

Jess glanced toward the house. "I—can we go inside?"

Her body sagged, feeling overwhelmingly defeated. "Seriously?"

"It's either that or stay out here and freeze," he told her pragmatically. "The moving blanket only offers you so much."

Closing her eyes briefly, she turned around and walked back into the house. Jess followed hesitantly wondering if he hadn't, in fact, lost his damned mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Regrets and Reason**

**Author:** Buffychick

**Disclaimer:** This is AU, so don't complain that it veers from canon. It's supposed to.

**Summary:** Set during "Nag Hammadi is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels." Jess has stunned Rory with his declaration of love, but things go differently this time around.

**Feedback:** Yes please! It will keep me writing if nothing else.

**Rating:** At the moment it's tame, but I make no promises at all that it will remain that way.

* * *

She headed toward her room and once he was inside with her, she shut the door. "Keep it down, my mom's upstairs, asleep."

He nodded. "Okay."

They stood across from each other, waiting. Finally, she shrugged out of her coat.

"Nice jammies," he noted.

She glared at him and grabbed a robe from her desk chair, shrugging it on and cinching it at the waist angrily.

"Talk," she ordered, flouncing down onto her bed.

Jess pulled out the desk chair and sat on the edge. "I wanted to…I'm sorry for running away."

"Which time?" she asked pointedly, eyebrow arched.

He swallowed. "All of them."

"Great. Thanks for the apology," she muttered bitterly.

"I was having a hard time."

"Sure."

"I went to California."

"The ocean's calming, so I hear."

He sighed. "I'm trying, Rory. Give me a break."

Her eyes flashed. "Explain to me why I should. What I owe you."

"You don't owe me anything, but I'm asking you. Just listen."

Silence. Then, "Fine."

He took a breath and leaned in, elbows to his knees. "I went to California to see my dad."

"You said that."

He gave her a look and she shut her mouth.

"I hated school. I skipped…a lot. I found out I wasn't graduating when I tried to get us prom tickets. I knew how much you wanted to go, and I felt awful about it. I tried to talk them into letting me stay, but they wouldn't. We went to that party that night, with Lane's band…and then Dean was there and the fight…"

Jess swallowed again and sat up, looking dead in her eyes. "I'm sorry for pushing you to go too far that night. In the bedroom. I never meant to do that."

Of all the things she expected an apology for, that hadn't entered her mind. "Okay," she murmured.

"I was pissed…and embarrassed. I can't even graduate from high school without messing it up. Then Jimmy was here, and I thought maybe I could go crash with him, figure out why he never wanted to be my dad. I didn't even know I cared why until I was on the bus."

"On the bus with me, where again, you said nothing."

"I completely zoned about you taking the bus to Chilton. I never would have been on it if I'd remembered."

She wasn't sure if that was an apology or not. She also realized this was the most she had ever heard Jess speak in the time she had known him.

"Jimmy didn't want me. Whatever curiosity he'd had about me had come and gone by the time I got out there. A few weeks and I couldn't take it. I hung around a couple places here and there, then I got sick of the bus and I came back here to get my car, figured I'd work things out, go back to New York or something. Traveling across country on a bus gives you a lot of time to think."

"Apparently not enough time for you to figure out how to talk to me."

"I'm getting there," Jess huffed. "I never planned to tell you that," he said more gently, and she knew he meant telling her he loved her.

"I figured you'd moved on, were doing the Yale thing. I wasn't going to mess it up. That's why I avoided you. I knew I owed you an explanation and nothing I came up with sounded good at all. Nothing I could say with respect for myself." He ran a hand through his hair, exasperated with himself. "I came back this weekend to get my car, figuring you'd be at Yale. I never imagined you'd be here."

"So if I hadn't been home for the weekend, you'd have come and gone again without a word."

"Maybe…but I think I might have ended up at Yale so I could talk to you."

She didn't know what to say to that.

"The minute I got back here, even before I saw you, I knew I had to talk to you," Jess continued. "I at least owed you an apology for bailing on you, not calling. I never planned to…chase you around the square."

His gaze caught hers and she looked away in embarrassment. "How could you just leave?" she asked after a full minute of silence. "Why couldn't you talk to me about what was going on?"

"I don't know," he admitted, sorry. "You were going off to do such great things, and I couldn't even get prom tickets. You deserved better. I was a loser, am a loser, and you deserved better."

Rory was quiet for a moment. "You ran away after Sookie's wedding," he pointed out.

"So, what? What's good for the goose?"

He frowned. "No. But I thought maybe you'd understand about having a bunch of feelings building up inside of you, confusion being one of them, and bolting until you had a handle on them."

She knew exactly what that felt like, but hated to admit that maybe, just maybe, she'd hurt Jess the way he'd hurt her. Instead, she addressed an earlier statement. "It's not up to you what I deserve, and you're not a loser."

He nodded. "Sure."

"I would have helped you. I would have…done whatever you needed to do to graduate."

"I was going to have to repeat 12th grade," he pointed out.

"That's why they have the GED exam. You could have skipped taking a year over and just taken the GED. At least then you'd have a diploma. What are you going to do without a high school diploma, Jess?"

He looked uncomfortable and didn't have an answer.

"I'm sorry," she told him. "Not the point."

"It's a fair question."

"I don't really know what to say to you, Jess."

"I figured."

"I want to hit you.'

"Also fair."

"I might hit you."

"Just not the face, it's my money maker," he told her evenly.

She suppressed a grin, though not easily. "What did you think you were doing, telling me that?" she wanted to know. "What did you expect? And why for the love of God did you just leave again? Didn't you figure out in all that time on the bus that leaving isn't really a solution?"

Old habits die hard and he tensed. "I hadn't expected to tell you that, Rory. It was a surprise to me too. Kind of like being kissed at the wedding. I don't think that was exactly part of your plan."

Quiet. Then, "Did you mean it?"

His eyes held hers, and he nodded and cleared his throat. "Yeah."

"Oh."

"It's okay, I don't expect a reply from you."

"Okay."

He glanced at the clock after a moment and turned his gaze back to her. "Do you hate me?"

She signed heavily and sank back on the bed against the headboard. "I don't know, Jess. I'm so confused right now."

"I know; I'm sorry for that."

"I mean, I don't see you for nine months and you come back and…this…and…I'm doing really good right now. Yale is…great…and I love my classes, and my mom's doing good, and my grandparents haven't been too heinous lately…"

"And I come back and everything's complicated."

She looked over at him. "Are you back?"

"What?"

"Are you back. Here. Are you staying?"

"I…no. I don't—"

Her shoulders slumped. "Yeah, of course. I figured."

There was question in his eyes, but he dropped it for the moment. "I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I hope you can…forgive me someday."

"Jess, what are you going to do? Where are you going to go? New York?" She hated herself for caring.

He shrugged, sitting back against the chair in defeat. "I really don't know. I've got a couple of friends in New York who'd probably let me crash with them until I figure things out."

Her distaste was obvious, but all she said is "Oh."

"I'll figure it out, I always do," he assured her.

"You could make up with Luke and stay here."

She wasn't sure why she said it, and he wasn't sure how to take it. "Uh…yeah, I don't see that happening."

"Yeah, probably not a good idea. You'd go nuts in Stars Hollow."

He made a sound of agreement, then, "Can we be okay, Rory? If not right now, someday?"

She bit her lip. "Yeah, I guess."

"I um…I got one of those pay-as-you-go phones. Maybe if I give you the number you'll call me sometime, when you might feel like talking."

She stared at him. "You hate talking on the phone."

He shrugged. "I just meant if you decide to forgive me, I'd like to know."

"Oh…yeah," she nodded. "Sure. But..I mean…I forgive you. At least I think I do."

He smiled a little. "Well, let me know when it's for sure." Reaching into his coat pocket he pulled out a piece of paper and laid it on her desk. "Number's on there."

She nodded and he stood up. "I should go."

"Go where?"

He shrugged. "I'll move my car, sleep somewhere else at least. In front of Luke's."

"That's stupid, Jess."

"Well, I don't have a lot of doors opening for me around here these days."

"I can't let you go outside and sleep in your car."

"I can't afford a hotel, Rory."

"You called me," she blurted out suddenly.

He stared at her for a moment. "What?"

"You called me. The day I graduated from Chilton."

Remembering, he gave a quick nod of his head. "Oh. Yeah."

"Where were you? California?"

He nodded again.

"So it _was _you. You heard what I said?"

_I think I might have loved you._

Another nod.

"You broke my heart," she told him.

Jess swallowed hard. "I know."

"And you're back here, and you tell me you love me, and then you drive away only to show up on my doorstep and now we're in my room talking at 12 in the morning, and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about any of this."

"I know."

It took her a moment to get out her next question. "You really meant it?"

A little panic flickered across his face. "What?"

She looked up at him, her blue eyes round. "What you said."

_What do you have to say to me?_

_I love you._

His dark eyes were steely. "I told you I did," he nodded.

"Why did you drive away? Why didn't you give me a chance to respond?"

He hesitated, embarrassed and uncomfortable. "Why did you kiss me and run away and not write me or call me all summer? Because I know what your response would be and I honestly don't want to hear it."

"Oh, you know me so well, is that it?" she asked indignantly.

"That's not what I meant, Rory. I'm just trying to figure out my life. I needed you to know that I was sorry. I came here to tell you that, and now I have, and…" he trailed off, helpless.

She wasn't finished. "I…mourned for you. For us. I had no idea if you were dead or alive or what you were doing. I had all these plans for us…to get you to change your mind about college, maybe even go to Yale… You have one of the best brains of anyone I know, you're so incredibly smart, you can do anything you want if you'd just sit down and work for it. But I had plans for us, Jess. Maybe I didn't tell you about them, but I had them. I wanted to experience college with you, life past high school and all the unnecessary drama that goes with it. And you left me."

"If I could change it, I would," he told her quietly, his voice filled with sincerity.

Her voice rose a bit. "I need to be over you, Jess. I need someone I can rely on. Someone I can count on not to duck and run the minute something doesn't go the way he wants it to."

His forehead knit with confusion. "I know, Rory. Jesus, don't you think that's exactly what I've been saying this whole time? I know I messed up. You need someone better, someone who will be there when you need them, when you want them."

"I wanted _you_."

He didn't know how to respond to that, and so they sat, staring at each other.

"I haven't dated anyone since you left, Jess. It's taken me a long time to get over you. I think I'm finally starting to, or I did before you came here tonight. I'm not sure I can take you leaving again."

"Are you trying to make me feel worse?"

"I'm trying to tell you that what you do impacts more than just you," she told him curtly. "If you're going to go on a mission to grow as a person, at least have all the information going in. You hurt me, you hurt Luke. You have to make this right with him."

He rolled his eyes, but nodded eventually. "I know. Really. I messed up with him…in the past and again today. I'm just pre-disposed to shit on him. He's next on the list."

"Like your own 12-step program?" she asked, a hint of smile on her lips.

For the first time he allowed himself to relax for a moment. "Sort of."

"I don't hate you. I want to, but I don't," she told him.

"I'm glad. Really," he told her sincerely.

"You can do so much, Jess. I mean that."

He had no words for that, mostly because he didn't believe it himself.

"You can," she insisted, seeing his doubt. "I've always known that. It's one of the things I loved about us…that we could talk about the Distillers and then Tolstoy in the same conversation and both be on the same page."

He remembered, fondly. "I know. Me too."

"You don't have to want to be the CEO of some major corporation, Jess. You just have to figure out how to be happy. And…now I'm lecturing you."

He smiled a bit. "It's okay. I could probably use some lecturing."

She returned his small smile and touched his arm gently. "Please make things right with Luke. He may not have always known what he was doing, but he tried. He cares about you."

"I was more worried about making things right with you."

"Well…you have."

Jess nodded. "I might be here a little longer, if I do that."

"Okay."

"Will you talk to me?"

"Will you run away if I try?" she teased.

He smirked. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. And thank you, too. I didn't know how much I needed this."

"Yeah…now you can…move on, have closure, whatever."

Her gaze faltered. "Yup. Right."

He walked to the door and put his hand on the doorknob, then turned back to her. "You thought I might go to Yale?"

"What?"

"If I'd stayed. You wanted me to go to Yale."

She shrugged, embarrassed. "I wanted you to be more than a stock boy at Walmart. That's fine for now, but when you're thirty…I saw more for you."

"I can't see myself at Yale."

Now she smiled. "I can. I so can. It's not high school, Jess, nothing like it. Yeah, there's homework and tests and you have to actually _attend_, but…the drama, the nit-picky crap from high school? It's gone. I've actually thought that it's exactly where I could see you. I think you'd love it."

"I've never thought about college. It's a little…straight and narrow for me."

"It doesn't have to be Yale," she told him. "But college seems very…you. You can argue with people and it's okay to have different points of view," she teased.

His dark eyes penetrated her light ones. "You thought about me."

She shrugged slightly at the change in direction of the conversation. "Well, yeah."

"I'm glad."

They stood across from each other, and she shifted her stance slightly. "You probably wouldn't say that if you knew how many times I envisioned your death."

He chuckled. "Still."

Her heart fluttered just a bit and the conversation hit a lull. Finally, she told him, "I'm going back to Yale tomorrow night."

"I figured."

"And you're going to stay, talk to Luke."

While his mouth twisted with disgust, he nodded. "Yeah. I will."

"Good," she told him, pleased. "I bet he'd let you work in the diner again. Or maybe you could work at Walmart?"

He gave her a crazed look. "I…you mean like _move _back here?"

Her shoulders fell. "That's not what you meant."

"No. I mean…I don't know. I mean, no, it's not what I meant, but I hadn't thought about it…"

"No, of course," she rushed ahead, stupidity flooding through her. "You wouldn't stay here. I mean, why would you stay here?" She began pacing around the room. "God, no. Of course not. This is like a level of Hell for you, this town, and the people, and…"

"Rory—"

She wasn't listening. "You don't have roots. That's what my mom said, you don't want to be tied down somewhere."

He was baffled. "Your mom-"

"Yeah, she said Jess can get up and leave because he didn't have anything here, but that's so not true, it's not true Jess." Rory stopped and grabbed his arms. "You have people here. You have Luke, and a place to live if you'd get your head out of your ass and just apologize. And you could work and get your GED and not be on a bus or in New York or wherever the hell you're going to be. You don't have to leave."

He stared down at her and there was silence between them. "Do _you_ want me to leave?"

Now she looked baffled. "What?"

"Do you want me to leave," he repeated, annunciating each individual word.

"I…" she released him from her grip. "I…"

Without permission he grabbed her arms and crushed his lips to hers. For a moment she didn't respond, then chemistry took over and her senses disappeared. Her arms came up and around his back, his hands went to her face and cupped her cheeks gently while his lips did the opposite, hot and feverish on her own. Her blood sang and she felt dizzy.

A moment later, they parted slowly, gasping. "Um…wow…" she exclaimed softly.

"You can say that again."

_Well whatever happens between us at least we know that part works._

He leaned his forehead against hers. "I…"

"Yeah…" she said breathlessly.

"I didn't plan this," he told her.

"I know."

"Was…it okay?"

He sounded so scared, she smiled. "Um…yeah. I think it was."

With an affirmative response some of his cockiness returned. "Yeah? Good enough for a repeat performance?"

Without waiting for an answer he took a single finger and lifted her chin to kiss her again. The simple, romantic act made her knees weaken as he kissed her, deeper than before.

"Jess… Wait…"

"No…because now is when you're going to get all rational," he murmured, punctuating every other word with a kiss.

She smiled softly. "This can't be a good idea."

"Do you want to kiss me?" he whispered.

"Yes, but…"

"Then stop thinking and just go with it," he insisted, nuzzling her neck.

She sighed with pleasure but pushed him back, breaking the connection. "Jess…"

"This is what I want, Rory," he told her simply.

She responded honestly. "I don't know what _I_ want."

Disappointment was obvious on his face but he stepped back and nodded. "Okay, I get it."

She moved forward to reassure him. "I'm not saying that I don't…like this…or want you or anything like that. I just need to figure some things out before we…"

Jess lifted her chin with that single finger again until her eyes focused on his. "Rory, I know. It's okay. You're right."

"Jess, stop," she told him firmly. "I'm telling you I need a clearer head, and kissing you has never given me a clear head."

He smirked, unable to help himself, pleased.

She sat on her bed, and he followed suit. "What are we doing?"

"I don't know," he told her sincerely.

"We haven't seen each other in months. I'm going back to Yale tomorrow. You have nowhere to live and no job."

He was embarrassed. "Thanks for that."

"I can't just jump back into this with you. And you can't jump either."

He knew she was right but the devil in him wouldn't die. "Why not? Take a chance."

"I need more, Jess. I want to be with someone I can rely on, someone I can depend on to be there when I need them, and to want me to be there when they need me."

"And you don't think I can be that person."

She said nothing. Didn't have to.

He toyed with her fingers for a moment, thinking, then looked into her conflicted eyes and leaned in to kiss her again, a long, sweet, lingering kiss that took her breath away.

"I'm going to go now," he murmured.

"Um…okay?"

"I'll be around tomorrow. We can talk then. Get some sleep."

"Wait, where are you going?"

"To find somewhere to sleep. It's late. We're both tired. And I need to think."

She looked completely surprised. "Oh."

Jess gave her a small smile. "I've got a few things to take care of."

_I've gotta go take care of something._

He kissed her briefly, and pulled the covers back on her bed. "Go to sleep, Rory," he ordered gently.

She giggled in spite of herself and climbed into bed. He tucked her in, kissing her forehead. "See you tomorrow."

Completely overwhelmed she allowed him to go, and a moment later she heard his car start and the crunch of tires on snow as he drove off.


	3. Chapter 3

**Regrets and Reason**

**Author:** Buffychick

**Disclaimer:** This is AU, so don't complain that it veers from canon. It's supposed to.

**Summary:** Set during "Nag Hammadi is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels." Jess has stunned Rory with his declaration of love, but things go differently this time around.

**Feedback:** Yes please! It will keep me writing if nothing else.

**Rating:** At the moment it's tame, but I make no promises at all that it will remain that way.

* * *

The morning arrived with a fresh blanket of snow on the ground, and Rory woke in her bed, unsure if what she remembered was a dream or if it had really happened. Resigning herself to the fact that Jess really was there, that they had talked and done quite a bit of kissing without any real resolution, she crawled out of bed and wrapped herself in her robe, craving her morning coffee.

"Aw, tired today, hon?" Lorelei asked as Rory trudged to the coffee pot.

"A bit," Rory admitted with a yawn.

"Here, let me do that." She took the coffee cup out of her daughter's hand and filled it while Rory sat down. Lorelei hummed as she moved around the kitchen, and a moment later a plate of warmed Pop Tarts were on the table as well.

"Now," Lorelei began. "That's better."

"What's up with you?" Rory asked suspiciously, nibbling on a Pop Tart.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," her mother said casually. "I just know how _talking to a boy in your room all night when you think I'm asleep and won't know _can really take it out of a girl," Lorelei chastised easily.

Rory blinked sleepily. "What?"

"You. A male voice. Your room, door shut. Midnight."

"You heard that?" Rory asked tentatively.

Lorelei rolled her eyes. "Uh, yeah! You pounding on the window of that should-be-impounded vehicle woke me up. Every trust fiber in my body banded together to keep me from coming in here and kicking him out or putting a glass to the door so I could hear what was going on. Tell mommy her self-control wasn't for nothing."

She looked expectantly at Rory.

"We talked," Rory began.

Lorelei arched a dark, perfectly manicured brow. "Does it go beyond that? Do I want to know?"

"No. Just talk. Nothing happened," she assured her mom.

"Okay," Lorelei said, letting out a deep breath and placing a hand over her heart. "Now that the palpitations have stopped…"

"He wanted to apologize. For everything."

"For _everything_? Like everything-everything? For leaving, for that jacket, for his now too-long hair, for global warming?"

"For leaving, for not calling, for avoiding me," Rory listed.

Lorelei's brow knit. "And for yesterday? The whole 'I love you' scene?"

"No…he didn't apologize for that."

"Did you want him to?" her mother asked shrewdly.

Rory slumped on the table and buried her head in her hands. "I don't knooooow."

Lorelei's lips pursed. "Oh boy."

"He kissed me," Rory admitted from behind her hands.

"Oh boy."

"Oh boy," Rory echoed weakly.

"Did you kiss him back?"

Rory nodded.

Lorelei's eyes widened. "We're graduating to 'man' on this one. Oh _man_."

Rory's hands parted to reveal her face. "Are you mad at me?"

Lorelei hesitated momentarily. "No…I'm not mad. But are you sure this is what you want? I know as well as anyone the power of the bad boy, the unattainable one. Hello! Your father! Age 16! …and age 27…and 35…" She cut herself off abruptly. "Beside the point. The point is…are you…are you together? Do you want this?"

"It's way too early in the morning for me to have this conversation."

"Well, sorry kiddo. Next time you have a boy in your closed-door room after midnight, you'll know what kind of inquisition to expect in the morning. I know you're nineteen, but it's my house, and you're my daughter. And it's Jess."

"So it would be different if it was Dean?" Rory wanted to know, slightly defensive.

Lorelei sighed and got up to refill her coffee, leaning against the counter thoughtfully. "Yes and no. Yes because, well, Jess is Jess. Boys like Jess are usually experienced, or they like to make people think they are…and they're able to worm their ways into the hearts of fair maidens like ourselves so pretty soon we don't know what we're doing, and a boat's been stolen, dad's liquor cabinet is raided and we have matching tattoos."

"This is my youth, not yours," Rory pointed out.

"Ha ha." She sat down again. "Do you…like him? Love him?"

Rory looked thoroughly distressed, and suddenly very young and small to her mother as she sat at the kitchen table, hair mussed from sleep, wrapped in a bathrobe. "I don't know, mom."

Her mother patted her hand and that sat in silence for a moment before Lorelei spoke again. "What's he going to do?"

Rory shrugged sadly. "I don't know that either. We talked about that last night. I told him he has to make things right with Luke, regardless of what happens with us."

"I thought you were over him."

Rory shrugged again.

"You're still going back to Yale tonight?" Lorelei confirmed.

Brown hair bobbed. "Yes, definitely."

"And he's…?"

"I don't know. He left, didn't say where he was going, only that he'd probably see me around today."

"I thought we'd hit Luke's for lunch today, but if you don't want to…"

Rory shook her head. "No, it's okay. I'd want to tell Luke goodbye anyway."

"So…what are you going to do now?"

Rory stood up. "Laundry," she said simply.

* * *

Sunday was Cesar's morning to open, and the one day a week Luke let himself sleep in until seven. After a quick shower and not shaving for the fourth straight day in a row, he headed downstairs, the familiar sounds of the diner floating up. Glasses clinking, something frying in a pan, people talking, the bell over the door dinging with each opening.

It was business as usual, as far as his ears could discern. He rounded the corner and moved behind the counter to see what needed to be done when his eyes caught the sight of Jess moving around the diner, refilling coffee. He froze a moment before storming to the kitchen. "What is he doing here?" he barked at Cesar, stabbing a finger in Jess' direction.

Cesar shrugged. "He said he was helping me open. I didn't question it. Not like he doesn't know how. Figured you knew."

Luke groaned and walked out to the dining room. "What are you doing?" he asked his nephew as Jess replaced the coffee pots and started to brew new batches.

"Making coffee."

"No, you're not. You don't work here. You don't live here. You don't do anything for me," Luke told him angrily.

Jess turned to him. "It's a little busy right now, but when the rush is over, can we talk?"

Luke was dumbfounded. "Talk? You want to _talk_ to me? What, haven't gotten in enough jabs about what a pain in the ass I am, or how much I've ruined your life?" he growled.

"You're scaring the customers," Jess replied testily.

"I don't give a crap about the customers," Luke retorted, furious, causing more than a few people to look up in distain.

"You're never going to win the Favorite Town Proprietor ribbon with that attitude."

"Come 'ere," Luke grumbled, grabbing Jess' arm and hauling him upstairs, Jess protesting the entire way. "What are you doing here?" he asked after pushing his nephew into the apartment. "You were supposed to get your car fixed and go. I know it's been fixed, I asked Gypsy. So why are you still here?"

Jess turned to face his uncle. "I'm sorry."

Luke jerked. "Excuse me?" he asked rashly. "You're _what_?"

Jess' eyes steeled. "I'm _sorry_."

Luke grabbed Jess by the arm. "Don't screw with me."

Jess threw off Luke's hand. "Would you cut it out? I'm trying to tell you something."

Luke waited impatiently, arms folded over his chest, breathing heavily.

Jess swallowed and began. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, and screwing up and leaving town and dropping out of school."

"You mean flunking out," Luke corrected.

Jess inhaled sharply through his nose. "Whatever," he said, gritting his teeth.

Luke Danes wasn't touched. "And what…I'm just supposed to accept your apology and let you stay here and work here, and pay you my hard-earned money and act like nothing ever happened? I _tried,_ Jess. I tried with you. I defended you when everyone hated you! I stood up for you even when I knew you were the one behind something! But you left. And you hurt Rory. And that hurt Lorelei, and I care about those people."

"And I hurt you," Jess admitted.

His uncle snorted angrily. "I'm fine. I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself."

"Doesn't change it," Jess told him.

Luke sniffed, turning away from Jess to stare out the window. "Yeah, well, whatever. But I'm not falling for it this time."

"Falling for what?"

"For the routine, the act!" Luke yelled as he whirled around to face his nephew. "You come in here, and you make a show, and you promise to straighten up and I believe you, or I don't believe you but I at least pretend I do, and I let you live here, and I give you a job and your space, and you just crap all over me and the people I care about. You lie, and you do whatever you want anyway, and eventually it falls apart and you bail. I'm not doing it again."

Jess got defensive. "It's not like that."

"How?" Luke snapped. "How is this time different? Because you say so?"

"I told you I'm sorry."

"Heard it before."

"Not like this."

"Give me one reason I should believe you."

Jess swallowed and steeled himself. "I'm in love with Rory."

Luke Danes stared at his nephew. He blinked. For a moment, no one spoke. Then, "Christ on toast."

"Remind me you can't be a speaker at my wedding."

"You're in love with her."

Jess nodded.

"You're really in love with her."

"I said so, didn't I?"

"And when exactly did you figure this out?"

Jess jerked a shoulder. "Few months ago."

"I knew you came back here for her," Luke said with disgust, but notably less heat than before.

"I didn't, really," Jess told him honestly. "I was ready to let that ship sail. I figured she'd be at school, living her life. I was going to let her get on with it."

"Wait, you saw her?"

Jess nodded. "Last night at that dippy festival."

"What did you do?" Luke asked, anger rising again.

"Nothing!" Jess cried. "I…we talked."

"Did you tell her? Did you tell her you love her?" Luke demanded.

Jess hesitated and Luke threw his hands up. "Oh man…" he moaned, turning away from Jess for a moment. When he faced his nephew again, he looked beat. "Jess…do whatever you want to me, but leave her alone. I can take it. But Rory…"

"I think she loves me too."

Luke looked shocked. "What?"

"She didn't say so, but she didn't kick me out of her house either."

"Wait, you went to her house? I thought you saw her at the Firelight Festival."

Jess rolled his eyes and quickly explained, leaving out most but not all of the more intimate details.

"I bet Lorelei loved that."

"She was asleep."

Luke gave him a pitying look. "You're not that stupid."

"Well, she didn't come down or anything."

"She knows."

"So you think because she let you talk, and didn't kick you out, and you guys kissed, that she loves you?"

Jess shrugged. "I think she might, or that she might eventually."

"And you're prepared to do what, exactly, to make this happen?" Luke asked skeptically.

"I'm working on that. First I need a job, a place to sleep."

Again, Luke just stared. "You're not serious."

"To start with, anyway."

"Yesterday you were the angry runaway and today you're on some kind of Tony Robbins change your path in life expressway?"

"I did some thinking last night. It was too cold to sleep in the car, so I thought."

"You slept in your- never mind," Luke stopped himself with a shake of his head. "So you decided that maybe, just maybe, the things people had been telling you all along were probably a good idea?"

"I think some of the things are a good idea," Jess corrected. "I'm going to work a few things out. But I…need your help."

Luke saw the bitterness in Jess' eyes, the hatred at having to speak those words. And being Luke Danes, he was unable to stop himself from caring.

"Jess…I don't know."

"One week. Give me one week," Jess requested. "If I mess up, if I'm a minute late to work, if I _jaywalk_, you can bust me and I'll be gone."

"Jess, it's going to take more than a week to get your life back on track," Luke pointed out reluctantly.

Jess stood before his uncle, eyes pleading. "Then after that, give me one more week. And then another, and another. One week at a time, until you know you can trust me."

Luke hesitated. He'd given Jess chance after chance, and yeah, maybe he'd screwed up himself, but still.

In the end, though, being Luke he couldn't ignore the request for help. "One week," he told Jess firmly, raising a solitary finger. "One."

"Thanks."

"One week. You will work, you will behave yourself. You will abide by the rules set out for the rest of the town, for civilization as a whole. If I hear you've been making trouble for anyone, we're done."

"Okay."

"I'm not kidding, Jess. This is your last chance."

Jess nodded. "That's all I'm asking."

"You have a lot of nerve asking."

"I know."

They stood in a faceoff for a moment longer before Luke announced he needed to get back downstairs. "Get your stuff, then get to work. You can fill in while Lane's gone." He paused as he headed down the stairs. "I'd advise you to stay away from Rory, but I have a feeling that's as useless as asking Kirk to…anything."

Jess didn't reply.


	4. Chapter 4

**Regrets and Reason**

**Author:** Buffychick

**Disclaimer:** This is AU, so don't complain that it veers from canon. It's supposed to.

**Summary:** Set during and after "Nag Hammadi is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels." Jess has stunned Rory with his declaration of love, but things go differently this time around.

**Feedback:** Yes please! It will keep me writing if nothing else.

**Rating:** At the moment it's tame, but I make no promises at all that it will remain that way.

* * *

Lorelei wandered into the diner early for lunch and took a seat at the counter while she waited for Rory. "Pigs. Gluttons," Luke snarled as he slammed down a cup of coffee on the counter in front of her.

"Sweet talker," she flirted.

"I'm going to make them all strap on feeding bags."

She batted long lashes at him. "Stop it, you're making me hot."

"We're slammed today, which normally, I'd be happy about," Luke told her, as he served plates to the others at the counter.

"But…" she prompted as Jess came out of the kitchen with a sleeve of napkins over his shoulder. "Oh my God." Her eyes flicked back to Luke's. "Wow."

Luke glared at her. "Don't start."

"Not starting," she said, hands up defensively. "I'm just going to remind you that he's done damage here before."

He placed his hands on the counter and leaned in. "It's fine. I know what I'm doing. He has one week. If he so much as doesn't cover his mouth when he sneezes, he's gone."

She sunk back on her bar stool. "Rory told me they talked last night. She said he was going to talk to you, she didn't say anything about him staying, getting a job."

Luke snorted harshly. "I doubt it's permanent."

Lorelei shrugged. "Well, we can always hope."

"If he can manage to stay out of trouble and back on this so-called track he's created for himself for more than four days I'll eat a burger."

Lorelei tilted her head in shock. "With cheese?"

Luke smirked. "Double."

She shook her head in disbelief. "Wow. I almost want him to make it just to see this."

"I'm that confident. Oh, and I advised him to stay away from Rory, fat lot of good that will probably do, but still."

"I appreciate it, really, but she's a big girl. Nothing we can do about it."

"We'll see about that."

Lorelei's eyes went sympathetic. "I know. But Rory's…she's gotta learn on her own. It comes with the territory of falling for the misfit."

Luke shuffled off to serve some plates and Lorelei sipped at her coffee until Jess made his way back behind the counter and refilled her cup without asking. Surprised, she reluctantly offered him thanks.

"Don't mention it."

"I thought you were leaving," Lorelei said carefully.

He looked her square in the eyes. "Change of plans."

She nodded slowly, clearly not overjoyed. "I see. Haven't created enough havoc around here? Feeling the need to shake things up a little more? We haven't had a good tar and feathering around here lately."

Jess knew he was being baited and swallowed the smart-assed retorts he was dying to spit back. "I've got some things I need to take care of."

"Warrants, paternity tests?"

"Cross burnings."

"Busy boy."

"No rest for the wicked."

For once Lorelei was unsure how to continue a conversation, so they let it die when the bell over the door jingled and he looked up as Rory walked in. "Mini-me," he nodded in her direction.

Lorelei looked over her shoulder as her daughter cautiously approached. "Hey, are we countering it today?" Rory asked, glancing nervously from her mother to Jess.

"No, no we're table people. Just…making conversation, you know."

Unsure, Rory nodded, still flicking her gaze between Lorelei and Jess. "Okay…"

They took seats at an empty table and Jess wandered over to get Rory's drink order. "Hey," he greeted her.

"Hey," she replied. "Um…Coke, please."

"You got it." He glanced at Lorelei. "You sticking with the coffee?"

She didn't spare him a glance. "I'll have iced tea with lunch."

He nodded and Rory immediately dove in as he turned to walk away. "What were you talking about?"

"Nothing. Just that he's working here."

Rory did a double-take. "He is?"

Lorelei shrugged. "Apparently."

"Oh. Okay."

"What?"

Rory looked over at Jess, who was dropping off drinks at another table. "That was just…twelve hours ago he didn't have a place to stay. Now he's staying here and working again?"

"The evil are influential," Lorelei noted.

Rory gave her mother a look. "Stop. Remember last night when you were all 'That boy loves you, I can understand why he ran away,' yadda yadda yadda?"

A look of deep thought came over Lorelei's face. "Mmm…nope…must have me confused with your other mom."

"Oh _her_. The pretty one. Now behave," Rory ordered as Jess returned with her drink.

"Ready to order?" he asked, pen poised.

"Cheeseburger, fries," Rory told him.

"You still love Pepperjack?" he asked.

She nodded, surprised, and shared a look with her mother. "Sure do."

He turned to Lorelei. "And for you?"

"Ahh…French dip, provel cheese, hold the onions and the mushrooms, extra yellow mustard and fries."

He scribbled and nodded. "Back in a few."

When he was gone, Lorelei glanced around the diner, watching Luke round the corner and go up the stairs to his apartment. "I need to talk to Luke for a moment. Be right back. Don't suck face with the troublemaker while I'm gone."

"Incorrigible."

Lorelei rose, leaving Rory alone. Jess watched her go, waited a beat, and made his way over to her table. "So, heading back?" he asked, taking a seat.

Rory nodded and let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Yeah. After this. And you're…working here?"

"Took your advice," he grinned, his smile devilish. "I'm working on it. Talked to Luke, promised to toe the line and all that."

"So, you're staying?" she asked. "I mean, last night you weren't sure of anything."

He gave the Jess shoulder-jerk. "I'm not such a caveman that I'd rather sleep in my car than here. So until something more permanent presents itself, yeah."

"Well, good. I'm glad. I hope you and Luke can work out everything."

"We'll see."

"Do you think you're staying or…you were talking about going to New York…"

He almost smiled at her shyness. Leaning in, he kissed her gently, unexpectedly. She responded instantly, then backed away, embarrassed. "Jess…not here…"

"Sorry," he told her sincerely, glancing around. "Rory…can I call you?"

"Call me?" she asked dumbly.

"At school. I have to make things right with Luke, and probably your mom at some point…but I'm more concerned about making things right with you."

"We're cool, Jess," she told him playfully, slapping at his arm. "The coolest."

"I'm serious. So, can I?"

Jess stared into her eyes, serious as he'd ever been. Finally she nodded and pulled a piece of paper out of her bag, scrawling her number on it and handing it to him. "Here's my cell."

He glanced down, and folded the paper, tucking it into his back jeans pocket. "Thanks."

"Jess, I can't promise you anything," she told him suddenly. "I have no idea how I'm feeling right now…or what I want… I'm a little confused by all of this."

"I know," he told her. "Me too. We'll figure it out, okay? Just don't…forget about me. That's all I'm asking. I know I don't have any right to ask you anything, but I am."

His eyes pleaded with her, and she crumbled. Squeezing his hand, she smiled. "So tell me what you and Luke talked about?"

* * *

Lorelei knocked lightly on the apartment door before turning the knob and entering. "Hey…got a sec?" she asked Luke, who was sifting through some papers.

"If this is about Jess, no."

"It's not about Jess," she promised.

"Then shoot."

She swallowed nervously. "Are you busy tonight?"

He glanced over his shoulder at her. "Tonight? Why?"

"I was wondering if we could talk. Over dinner."

Luke gave her a surprised look. "We can't talk right now?"

She was getting exceedingly more uncomfortable. "It's more official than diner talk. Unless, you and Nicole are busy…"

He shook his head. "No, she's in Boston this week. It's official? Are you being drafted?"

"Yes, that's it."

"I'm not wearing a tie."

"No ties," she assured him. "I was thinking Silvano's, 8:00?"

His eyes narrowed. "Fancy. What's this about?"

"I'd rather talk about it tonight."

"Is it serious?"

"No…yes…kind of…" she babbled.

He moved closer, touching her arm. "Hey, are you okay? Are you in trouble?"

"No more so than usual," she assured him. "Please?"

Luke looked more confused than ever, but nodded. "Okay. Eight o'clock."

"I'll pick you up here?"

"Sure."

"Great, thanks." Lorelei backed out of the apartment clumsily, leaving Luke slightly dumbfounded.

She headed downstairs and came around the corner to see Jess and Rory talking at the table, Jess in her seat. He sprang up as she approached.

"Sorry."

"It's okay," she told him, sitting.

"Your food will be right out," he said, and headed back behind the counter.

Lorelei gave Rory a look. "What was that all about?"

Rory returned the look. "You two are like little old ladies."

"You hurt my baby, you sleep with the fishes."

"He was just telling me that he talked to Luke, and he has a week to stay out of trouble. If that goes okay, he has another week, and so on."

"So a week at a time…until forever?" Lorelei scoffed. "Okay."

"For now, I guess," Rory shrugged.

"He knows you're going back to school tonight."

"He knows. I was just saying that I'm going to be super busy this next week or two so I don't think I'll be coming home or anything."

"I see."

"That's for your information too, you know."

"Rory = busy. Got it."

The younger Lorelei sighed. "Let's talk about something else. How's Jason?"

Lorelei perked up. "He's good. Busy too, it must be going around."

"And you're still not going to tell grandma and grandpa that you guys are dating?"

"It's just never the right time."

"The longer you wait the worse it's going to be," Rory lectured as their food arrived.

"It's always going to be worse," Lorelei corrected. "There is no good way to tell Richard and Emily that I'm dating my father's partner."

"Maybe they'll surprise you."

"The only way they're going to surprise me is if they –" she broke off as her phone rang and she looked at the caller ID. "You _see?_" she cried, pointing to the phone. "She knows. She's like the All-Seeing Eye of Mordor."

"Answer it."

"No."

"Answer it, or I will and she'll know you're avoiding her."

Lorelei sighed. "Hello?"

"Well, guess who's demanding we all make an appearance at lunch?" Emily's voiced chirped over the phone."

"Abe Vigoda?" Lorelei guessed.

"Your grandmother," Emily informed her, ignoring her daughter. "She is coming back from Palm Beach and is demanding we have a luncheon the day after tomorrow. You, me, your father, and apparently she wants to meet Jason."

Lorelei stuttered. "She wants to meet Jason…wh-why?"

Emily sighed heavily. "_Because_, Lorelei, he is your father's business partner and therefore she feels entitled to have her nose in every aspect of things. Just be here on time and get your hair but. You looked like that Helena Bonham Carter woman the last time I saw you."

"You know who Helena Bonham Carter is?"

"Just be here, and wear something that I won't have to hear about for three days after this luncheon is over," her mother ordered, and hung up.

Rory looked questioningly at her mother. "What?"

"Your great-grandmother is coming back from Palm Springs and I've been ordered, much like the Nazi's were called to arms, to join them for lunch. You, however, have been spared, being the bright ivy-league-covered star in my mother's life."

"And Helena Bonham Carter is going to be there?"

"Apparently, if I don't get my hair cut."

"Ouch."

* * *

The work day ended for Jess when Lane turned up for her evening shift. "She's been staying with Rory, I don't know all the details," Luke had told him. "But I still need someone to help out, so you two work out the shifts."

Lane eyed him suspiciously, but Rory had filled her in earlier that day when she's returned to Yale. She was, at the very least, curious to see where this went between Jess and her best friend.

Jess spoke first. "I'll take days, if you want, or we can just switch off each week."

She glanced at him over her glasses. "You're going to be here long enough for this to matter?"

He raised a dark eyebrow at her. "I'm not going to step on your toes. But I know he doesn't have enough help. You take what you want and I'll fill in the rest. I don't care when I work."

"Okay." Lane set herself up busily creating a schedule that worked best for her, tossed it to Jess, who glanced at it and nodded.

"Fine."

"Great," she replied.

"Hey, you staying with Rory?"

"I was, now I'm staying with Lorelei," she told him. "It's all temporary."

"Just heard the rumor, thought I'd verify," he said, and went upstairs with the intention of taking a shower. When he walked into the tiny apartment, Luke was frazzled, attempting to tie a tie in the mirror. "You own a tie?" he asked his uncle, plopping down on the couch.

"Shut up."

"Where you headed tonight, Don Juan?"

"Nowhere."

"So the tie's for me? I'll tell you straight up, I don't put out on the first date."

"Shut up," Luke repeated, yanking at the tie uncomfortably. He grabbed his jacket and headed downstairs. "Don't wait up."

"That's my line," Jess got out before the door shut.

Luke headed downstairs and was unlocking the door when he saw Lorelei coming toward the diner. "Hey, I'm ready on time and I'm wearing a tie," he announced proudly, stepping outside.

"I know," she told him, "I'm sorry…I'm going to have to…I need to reschedule."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she laughed a little wildly. "I mean no, but…I'm sorry I made you get dressed up."

Concern entered his eyes. "It's okay. What's going on?"

Lorelei smoothed her hair nervously. "I'm just…distracted."

"Anything I can do?" he asked.

She sighed. "Know anyone with a radioactive spider?"

"No, but I've got a guy with septic lemurs."

She smiled weakly, her eyes watering. "Hey…" he murmured. Luke put an arm around her and led her to a bench in the square. "What's going on?"

It came spilling out of her like water from a fountain. "I had everything under control, or I thought I did, or I did a really good job convincing myself I did, and everything is just falling apart." She sniffled loudly. "I don't have everything under control, and I can't do it all by myself. Sookie has a baby and Tom's not getting paid…and I want to pay him, I do! But I can't because, well, there's no money. And my grandmother today told me I'm a charity case. Well, not in so many words, but when you grow up in that house, you know how to read between the insults, and I was going to ask you tonight for a loan, for $30,000, and show you clearly how pathetic I am." And with that, she broke down.

Luke sat there, stunned. "$30,000…wow, okay, um…"

"I'm failing, Luke," she told him, her voice breaking, tears streaming. "I'm a failure. The inn isn't going to make it."

"That's not true," he told her sternly. "You are not failing."

"I am. And I don't know what to do. And now Jess…what if he hurts Rory again? I told her I understood. I understand the attraction, and all that… I just don't know if I can stand seeing her hurt again. I don't think he means to, but he does it anyway…"

"Don't worry about Jess," Luke told her gruffly. "And don't worry about the inn. I'll help you. It'll be okay."

They sat, his large hands rubbing her back for comfort, she weeping not so silently. Jess stepped back from the upstairs window having heard every single word as their voices carried in the open, empty square.

A few days later Lorelei resigned herself to being unable to avoid Luke and the diner for the rest of her life. The call of coffee was just too strong, and she hadn't had a decent muffin in a week. She tentatively stepped inside Luke's and took her regular seat at the counter, waiting quietly for Luke to make his way over to her.

"Been a couple days. How you doing?" he asked her gently, pouring coffee.

"You mean after the massive meltdown of 2004? I'm okay. I'm so sorry, Luke. I didn't mean to break down on you like that."

He grimaced. "It's okay. Here, take this," he told her, handing her a sealed envelope.

"What's this?"

"It is what it is."

"What are you, the Dalai Lama?"

He glared. "Just put it away. Hide it."

"What? No! I'm too intrigued now!" she cried, tearing it open. When she saw what was inside she sank further down in her seat. "This is a check to me for $30,000," she murmured softly, stunned.

"Shh!" he hissed, looking around. "Keep it down!"

"Luke," she began tearily. "This is the money I was going to ask you for."

"Yeah, it is. Now put it away and let's never talk about it again."

"What? No! We have to come up with terms, and I want a contract, and all that legal stuf..."

Luke leaned toward her menacingly. "No lawyers," he ordered.

She sighed. "Okay, no lawyers, but at least some kind of paperwork. Terms. Something," she begged. "And Nicole…what's her role in this, her say in things?"

"Later, okay? We'll go over it tonight, or tomorrow or something. Just not right now."

She relented. "Okay. But I'm holding you to that."

"I wouldn't expect it to be that easy," Luke grumbled, and left to refill coffee.

* * *

Her cell phone was ringing as Rory put the key in her lock and turned. Her arms were loaded with books, which she dumped onto the couch as she desperately tried to get to the phone before it hung up.

"Hello?" she gasped.

"Hey," came Jess's easy voice over the line.

Her heart thumped. "Oh. Hey. Um, how are you?"

"I'm okay. You?"

"Good. I'm good. Where are you?"

"Luke's. The apartment."

"Oh. Well, good."

He smiled into the phone at her nervousness. "You busy tonight?"

"Um…it's Friday night," she noted. "Dinner at grandma's."

He winced. "Oh, right. I forgot. I'm guessing you can't get out of that any more now than you could before."

"Probably even less likely. And my great-grandma died last week so it would be even worse if I cancelled on them now. My grandpa's taking it really hard."

"Yeah, Luke mentioned she passed away. I'm sorry to hear that."

Rory shrugged a shoulder. "It's okay, we weren't close. But still. You know."

He nodded to no one in particular. "Well, are you busy after dinner?"

She folded herself onto the couch, tucking her legs under her. "Um, I guess not. I have a lot of studying to do, but…"

"I won't take up your whole night. I thought we could talk."

"Yeah…I guess we should…talk," she nodded.

"Or is tomorrow night better? I could come pick you up…you can show me the swinging campus life."

"Tomorrow night would be great, honestly," she confessed. "I can study all day and meet up with you after."

She gave him the address. _22.8 miles,_ he thought with a smirk.

"You haven't called," she said a moment later.

"I know. I had some stuff I had to do. And your mom alluded more than once that you were incredibly busy. Wasn't sure how much of that was true or just for my benefit."

"What stuff?" she wanted to know.

"I'll tell you tomorrow."

Rory rolled her eyes. "Always the cryptic with you."

"Think of it like surprises," he grinned.

"Fine, fine. Tomorrow night."

"See ya."


	5. Chapter 5

**Regrets and Reason**

**Author:** Buffychick

**Disclaimer:** This is AU, so don't complain that it veers from canon. It's supposed to.

**Summary:** Set during and after "Nag Hammadi is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels." Jess has stunned Rory with his declaration of love, but things go differently this time around.

**Feedback:** Yes please! It will keep me writing if nothing else.

**Rating:** At the moment it's tame, but I make no promises at all that it will remain that way.

* * *

Rory nervously brushed her hair and assessed her outfit. Rethinking it, she went to her closet and changed it again. Paris watched her pace, aggravated. "You're not seriously getting precious about your outfit for Jess."

Rory shot her a withering stare. "Shut up."

"Come on, Gilmore. He broke your heart. Time to move past that sob story and find a new one," she told her roommate as she leafed absently through a magazine.

Rory didn't respond, and slipped a different sweater over her head. "Is this okay?"

Paris appraised Rory's conservative jeans and hooded navy blue sweater. "Are you looking to score with a random Gap employee? I think you're safe in that outfit, Hermione."

"Well I'm not looking to…score," Rory told her haughtily. "So this should be fine."

"Whatever, lust bunny."

Her nerves were dancing in her body, doing a tango alongside the butterflies in her stomach. A date. With Jess. Was it a date? Was it friends? Would her heart stop slamming in her chest before he arrived? Knocking at the front door to their suite made that answer clear. One of Rory's four roommates, Janet, answered the door. "Hey," she greeted Jess. "Help you?"

"Hey," Jess nodded. "Rory here?"

"Yeah, one sec. Come on in."

Jess walked in, glancing around the common room, dressed casually in jeans and a black sweater. "Hey," he said to Tanna, whose eyes widened. She didn't respond but instead stared at him, her mouth working but no sound coming from it. Jess eyed her curiously.

"Rory," Janet called, opening Rory's door a crack. "Company." _Wow_, she mouthed with a grin standing where Jess couldn't see her face.

Rory blushed. "Thanks." She opened the door and allowed Jess to come in. "Hey, hi."

"Hey yourself." His gaze traveled to Paris. "Paris," he nodded.

"Deliquent," she snapped.

Resigned, he nodded. "Charming as ever."

Rory shrugged. "Jess, this is my roommate Janet, and that's Tanna in the common room."

"Nice to meet you," Janet grinned. "Ignore Paris."

Jess smirked. "Already a habit."

"I like him already!" Janet told Rory with a smile.

Jess gave Rory a quick grin. "Shall we go?"

"God yes," she sighed, putting on her jacket. "Let's."

They headed outside and Rory stopped. "Um…where are we going?"

He gestured toward the campus. "Show me Yale," he instructed. "Simple as that."

"Okay," she smiled and they started walking as she pointed out things of interest around the campus. "Stop me when you're bored," she instructed as they strolled in the crisp March air.

"No, it's good. You love it."

She grinned. "I do. I love it here. I love everything about it. I love the air. I love the _trees_!" she gushed giddily.

"It shows," he smiled.

Her head tilted slightly as she looked at him. "Do you miss it?"

"What, this?" He looked around. "Can't miss something you never had."

She frowned. "Do you miss the opportunity, I mean. Not that you don't still have the opportunity, but you know. Do you want any of this?"

He shrugged. "I don't know…like I said, I've never really thought about college. I couldn't take high school."

"Totally different," she told him. "Not even the same thing. It's like two different worlds, Jess."

"This place is nice," he admitted.

"And that's just the award-winning campus," she grinned. "You haven't even seen the professors or the library, or the newspaper office, or the dining hall."

Jess chuckled. "You join their marketing department yet?"

"I know, I know," she smiled. "I'm a little over the top."

He took her hand casually. "It's nice."

She glanced down at their entwined fingers. "It is," she said finally.

"This okay?" he asked, indicating their hands.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, it's fine," she said shyly.

They strolled a moment in silence before she asked, "So, tell me about California. Or wherever you were."

Jess shrugged. "It's warm. There's sun…beach…waves."

"They asked you to write their next tourism slogan, didn't they," she said, knowingly.

He laughed. "My dad's okay…Jimmy's not really going to be dad of the year. He's got a girlfriend, live-in, Sasha. She's got a kid who lives inside a closet, nose in a book."

"The kid lives in a closet?"

Jess chuckled. "All voluntary. She's a pre-teen hermit. I never saw her without a book. I never really saw her, period. I didn't spend much time at their house."

"How long were you there?"

"Couple weeks. Picked up some odd jobs, cruised the book stores and music shops on the pier. Enough to live on."

"Did you see anyone famous?" she teased.

"Andy Dick."

She stopped and her eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yup. The name is no accident. He was an ass."

"I've heard that, actually." She pointed out her dining hall as they strolled, then turned the conversation back to him. "So you stayed there a few weeks…and then what?"

He was uncomfortable talking this much about himself, but it was why he was here after all. "Caught a bus, then a train. Zig-zagged around a bit. Saw the Grand Canyon."

"I hear it's big. Grand, actually."

"Your source is correct," he confirmed. "There's not much to tell. When I needed money so I could get to the next point I worked. There's always someone willing to pay you to do a crap job for them. Bus tickets and train tickets are cheap. I can live on crackers if I have to."

She shook her head at him. "That's so stupid, Jess. It doesn't have to be like that at all."

He shrugged. "And…now I'm here. I was in New York, Liz told me Luke had stowed my car, I came here to get it."

"Did you…I wish you would have told me, Jess," Rory told him honestly, her tone full of regret. "You owed me that much."

His eyes immediately went to the ground, ashamed. "I know," he said, shifting his gaze up to her face. "I should have. I really am sorry."

"Did you read anything good on your travels?"

He laughed suddenly. "Leave it to you to ask me about books."

She grinned back as they came around to Vanderbilt Hall. "Let's cut through here. There's a giant quad that's pretty to walk through."

"Oh yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's historic, and beautiful, and…" she spied something and did a double-take. "What's Kirk doing here?" she asked suddenly, seeing the Stars Hollow native seated on a blanket under a grouping of trees. "Kirk!" she cried, striding over to him. "What are you doing here?" She looked around at the food laid out over the blanket. "And why do you have all this food?"

Kirk stood abruptly. "Hi Rory. Bye Rory." He turned to Jess. "Nobody touched anything, but I did get several lucrative offers for the fried chicken bucket." He made a motion with his hand, extending it to Jess. "Twenty bucks. Cough it up."

"I'm a man of my word," Jess told him, and handed Kirk the bill.

Rory's mouth dropped. "You did this? Are you serious?"

He gave her a shy smile. "I seem to remember you like eating more than most homo-sapiens."

She crinkled her nose in delight. "I do!"

"Then let's eat," he smiled back at her, and they plopped down on the blanket.

"I can't believe you did this," she said, digging through the bags of food. "You even brought those special bags that keep the hot food hot and the cold food cold."

"I figured it wouldn't be really impressive if I served you luke-warm picnic fare."

She popped a chocolate chip cookie in her mouth. "This might seriously bump you up on the list of my favorite people."

"I'll never get above Christiane Amanpour."

"If that's mashed potatoes and there's gravy somewhere, it's a distinct possibility," she told him, grabbing several containers with enthusiasm.

The early evening air was cool, but not uncomfortable, and the blanket he'd unearthed from Luke's apartment was clean and fairly comfortable. People walked around them, a few tore across the grass in the midst of a game, throwing a ball or Frisbee, some studied under trees in the dying light of day. Rory and Jess grazed on the food for a minute or two before Rory swallowed a mouthful of garlic bread and looked at him. "This is great, Jess."

He tilted his head. "Thanks." Their eyes held for a moment and she was sure he was going to kiss her again. Instead, he ripped off a piece of the bread she held in her hand and popped it into his own mouth. "I hear you went to Europe."

She hid her disappointment that he hadn't kissed her, surprised at herself for wanting him to. "You've been real attentive since you got back, haven't you?" she teased.

Jess made a noise. "Everyone always thinks I'm not listening to what's going on around me."

"Can't imagine where they'd get that," she said pointedly, eyebrow raised.

He speared a meatball in red sauce and stuffed it into his mouth whole. "So how was it?" he asked after swallowing.

"It was fantastic," she gushed, unable to help herself. "Really. My mom and I hit everything. London, Paris, Ireland, Prague, Italy, Spain… All the things you'd expect us to see, a bunch of stuff you probably wouldn't…well, you might, but people like my grandparents wouldn't. My mom stalked Bono for like two days straight."

"I bet he appreciated it."

Her eyes shone in the fading light of the Yale campus. "You'd love it, Jess. The history is just…inspiring. And to see it up close, right in front of your face…I can't even describe it."

He smiled at the awe in her voice, the true sincerity of her words. Rory was one of the most honest, open people he'd ever met, and those traits were some of his favorite things about her. She wasn't cynical, she wasn't jaded; she was just Rory, undiluted by the anger and discouragements of the world.

"Maybe someday I'll get to see it."

"And when you do, I'll tell you all the off-the-path places to go."

"Deal."

"And then I came home…and suddenly it was time to go to Yale. That was fun," she smirked. "We got back and I'd written the date down wrong for orientation. I had two days to get everything together and move onto campus."

Jess licked chicken grease from his finger. "You'll never get me to believe you wrote the date down wrong."

"Why does everyone say that?" she asked, exasperated, and glared at him as she picked up a piece of apple pie and carefully peeled back the plastic wrap covering it. "Enough about me. You've been in Stars Hollow a couple weeks. You passed the Luke test apparently, more than once, so what now…any plans?"

Jess shrugged. "I'm still working that out."

"You don't have any ideas? You've got to be going crazy in Stars Hollow."

"It's wearing thin, yeah," he admitted with a laugh. "But it's okay. I can't ever tell Luke this, but it beats being on a bus or sleeping in a park."

She stopped dead, for halfway to her mouth. "You slept in parks? You did _not _sleep in parks. Like a hobo?"

He was amused by her shock. "When you have no money and you're a thousand miles from anywhere you might consider calling home, yeah…homeless is about it. It's no big deal."

"That's crazy, Jess. You know you could have called. Me, Luke, your mom…"

He snorted. "Yeah…that wasn't really an option at the time."

"Why? Because you were so angry and cool?" she grumbled.

Jess shrugged. "Something like that."

"You're an idiot," she declared.

He raised an eyebrow. "Probably."

Shaking her head in disgust, she continued with her pie.

"I think Luke's getting a divorce," Jess said suddenly.

Rory stopped again. "What? Are you serious? For real this time?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I've never met her, Nicole, but I've walked in on some pretty intense phone conversations. Last time he quit trying to hide that they were fighting so I got an earful before I bailed."

"That sucks," she said sadly.

"Yeah. But it doesn't sound like either of them is very happy. And Luke's never at their place. He says he lives there, but I'm not even sure he's got a spare change of clothes over there. He's only spent one night over there since I've been back."

"Wow. Mom said he wasn't there much, but I had no idea it was that bad."

"Probably no one does. He's more closed off than I am."

"Not possible," she teased.

"I'm an open book," he countered. Rory snorted. "Did you just snort?" he laughed. "You totally snorted."

"It was a snort-worthy comment!" she cried defensively. "I mean, I'm forever saying how you can't shut up that Jess Mariano."

"Go ahead, ask me anything. I'll prove it."

"Hmm, okay," she considered. "Tell me why you won't get your GED."

"I didn't say I wouldn't."

"So you will," she pounced with a grin.

"I'm thinking about it."

Rory brushed her hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ears. "Oh come on. You're smarter than that, Jess. Even you know there's no way you're going to do much with your life without a high school diploma."

"Possible."

"Probable," she countered.

"Debatable."

"Likely."

"Fine," he pouted. "I'll consider it."

"I'd come over to help you study, but that sounds like a bad idea."

His eyes flew wide. "You know I swerved to hit that dog-cat-rodent-of-unusual-size."

She laughed. "I know, I know! Jeez. You're so sensitive. That's another thing I'm always saying about Jess Mariano. He's such a sensitive guy."

He rolled his eyes. "You know, for hating me so much, you certainly talk about me enough."

"I don't hate you."

"You did."

"I tried."

"How are you feeling right now?" he asked casually.

She considered. "Luke-warm."

His mouth fell open and she laughed. "Oh…that's it," he grunted, and began gathering the food, stuffing it back in the bags.

"What are you doing?" she gaped.

"Hoarding the food until you warm up to me," he told her casually, putting the fried chicken inside the warmer bag.

"Hey! No!" she protested, reaching over to snag a platter of garlic bread, but his fingers snagged the plate seconds before hers and he unceremoniously dumped the bread into the larger tote, plate and all.

"Not until I feel you've earned a reprieve," he told her, standing up and dancing agilely out of her reach.

"Jess!" she cried, lunging for him again as he snatched the other bag of cold foods and backed around the tree.

"You can't resist the food, I know you haven't changed that much," he chided and she rounded the tree.

Rory stomped a foot with exasperation. "I'm not chasing you over some food."

"Lies," he retorted as she reached for the bags again.

In response, Rory dashed back to the blanket and scooped up the remaining containers. "No more apple pie for you," she threatened.

"Which is no good without the ice cream," he countered, jiggling the cold bag.

"In a cone?" she blurted out before she could stop herself.

He froze for a moment before grinning. "Yeah. In a cone."

_Then you will be a perfect student for the rest of the night?_

_That's right._

_I could not believe you less. Here, you drive, I'll read you Othello. Won't that be fun?_

_You have no idea how much._

The memory surfaced quickly for both and they were grinning at each other before it dawned on either of them.

Finally, swallowing, Rory asked, "Did you really bring cones?"

Jess snorted. "There is no other way to eat ice cream."

_Putting it in a dish, eating it with a spoon?_

_What is wrong with people?_

"We seem to be at an impasse. I have the ice cream. You have the pie."

She swept her arm over the blanket, grabbing silverware. "And I have the forks. So unless you want to be training for the next pie-eating contest and going it face first…"

"You make a convincing argument," he conceded. "Truce?" Jess asked after a moment.

She nodded, her heart rate having quickened with this exchange, and they regrouped on the blanket.

"So you brought ice cream, and apple pie, and cones? Are we supposed to put the cone on top of the pie?" she asked, crossing her legs as she settled back on the ground.

"You crumble the cone over the pie and ice cream. It's one of the few exceptions to the cone rule," he told her obviously.

"Duh," she grinned.

"I question your intellect sometimes, Gilmore."

"Hopefully Yale beats some into me."

"Hopefully this exchange with ice cream and cones doesn't end with you and a broken wrist," he said lightly.

She smiled ruefully. "Yeah…I can skip the broken bones and car crashing again."

"I think it was a bear that ran in front of the car," he said defensively.

Rory nodded. "A Grizzly," she agreed. "Totally unavoidable in the wilds of Connecticut."

"They oughta post signs."

"God, don't tell Taylor, he'll really do that."

The mood lightened, they sat down and dove into the pie, foregoing plates in favor of eating out of the pie plate, scooping ice cream on top of the entire pie, and then crumbling several sugar cones over that.

"You know, this concoction would make my mother proud."

"I'll have to remember that," he told her between bites.

"It's one of our biggest weaknesses."

"Gluttony?" he asked, grinning.

"Delight in food," she shot back with a glare, then laughed. "This is great, Jess. Really. So…not what I expected."

"What did you expect?" he asked, licking a spoon of ice cream.

Rory shrugged, picking her fork at the pie. "I don't know. A diner or something. Listening to a band. Wandering around aimlessly."

He nodded slowly, surprised that his feelings were slightly hurt. "So, _low_ expectations."

She shrugged again uncomfortably. "Picnics aren't really your style."

"We've done a picnic before," he pointed out.

A single eyebrow raised. "Because you were doing your best to tick off Dean."

"Well…yeah, that's true," he chuckled.

"And don't think for a moment I've forgotten what we were talking about earlier."

"What were we talking about?" he asked innocently, shoving a gigantic bite of pie and ice cream in her mouth.

She chewed laboriously and swallowed. "You and a future plan."

He sighed and set down the pie plate. "I'm still working that out. I can't give you answers I don't have."

"Just promise me you're going to think about it. And that it doesn't involve Wal-mart."

"I can assure you it doesn't."

"And?" she asked pointedly.

"And?" At her glare, he nodded. "I will think about it. Okay?"

"Promise?"

"Jeez! Yes," he cried, but with little heat. "Yes. I promise. I swear on a copy of _The Fountainhead_, I will think about what I'm going to do," he finished, causing her to giggle. "But you have to promise me something too."

Her grin dropped and she looked at him suspiciously. "What?"

"That you won't disregard whatever _this_," he indicated themselves and the food around them, "is."

"A picnic?"

"Don't be dumb, Rory," he said quietly.

She swallowed hard. "I don't know how I feel about us, Jess. It's been a long time."

"Too long?" he asked hopefully, half afraid of the answer.

She shook her head. "I don't know…honestly."

"Are you willing to try?"

Rory considered. "Let's take it one step at a time, okay? On everything. School, a GED…us."

Disappointment tinged his emotions, but he nodded. "That's fair. But I have another condition."

"Another one?" she asked with a sigh.

"Hopefully it's not one you mind," he murmured, and reached for her, his hand cupping her check as he pulled her lips to his.

The kiss shocked her system with its power, electricity that ran through them both. It was tender and needy at the same time, and without conscious thought her hands found his hair, delving in to the thick locks as she greedily returned the kiss. Without a break in contact, Jess moved the pie plate from between them and scooted closer to her, his arms leaning her back gently until she lay on the blanket, his body positioned half over hers.

He kissed her thoroughly, as energy pulsed through her system. "Jess…" she murmured, putting a hand to his chest. To his credit, he backed off immediately. "Sorry," he whispered, planting one final kiss on her lips.

"No…it's fine…I just need to catch my breath."

Jess eased back, scooting up to lean against the tree. With only a moment's pause, she followed him, settling next to him, their hands finding each other.

"That was…" she murmured.

"Nice," he finished softly, trailing lazy fingers over her arm. "Right?"

She smiled gently at his nerves. "Yes. It was nice."

"And it was okay? I mean…you…wanted to?"

"I wasn't saying no," she admitted softly, a blush creeping over her cheeks.

He seemed satisfied with that response. "Good, because I kinda missed that."

She smiled to herself, pleased. "Me too."

"Think I could talk you into a normal date-type thing sometime? A movie?" he asked, playing with her hair.

"I can probably swing that."

As they sat, nestled in the crook of the tree, night settled over the campus.

**_**AN: Sorry for the long delay in posting. I had a hard time finding the rest of this story, but I think I'm back on track now and should be posting with more regularity. Thanks for sticking with it!**_**


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